What you will never regret

In the days of college and early adulthood, I was promiscuous. My numbers -- my bedpost notches, if we're going to be even more crass -- are above those of the average heterosexual male (but a pale, barely distinguishable shadow of those experienced by upwards of 30-plus percent). I am only in vague contact with two of those women, both of whom I dated seriously, one of which to the point of engagement. She turned 44 yesterday, the other sometime earlier in the month. Happy birthday, sweeties. Seems all my significant girlfriends were born in August. Wonder what that means. Hmmm.

Anyway, I've a relative who's just graduated from college. She has committed several sins against chastity of late, and it makes me sad. She had such an excellent formation from her mother, and her siblings were good roll models in this respect, too. And yet there's this man who she knows is just using her for cheap thrills, and she doesn't care. That's what sin does to you. At first you're horrified by what you've done. Then it becomes habitual and you think, "What's the big deal."

She wrote recently to say loves me, and I responded thusly:

I love you, too, sweetheart. More than you can know, and that's why I have been praying and sacrificing for you per our last conversation. Please trust me. Don't repeat my mistakes, honey. Please be that rare young person who simply trusts the counsel of those older and more experienced, we who look back on our past with weeping sadness and regret at the tricks of ol' hairy hooves into which helped us all too eagerly fall. Remember, always remember, keep in mind constantly, the sacrifices your mom offered for you from the moment you were born, and especially those she made as she drew to that door. Don't let them be in vain, Ang. If you do, it will only be the spiritual equivalent of defecating on her grave as a piece of performance art with a large crowd in attendance.

As I have constantly told my teenage CCD students, "You will never regret your chastity, but you will always regret your giving in to your lust."

If you don't understand the philosophy behind chastity or the Church's teachings on this subject, then let me suggest you look into the Theology of the Body. Chastity is not some white knuckle thing where you have to squirm, grin, and bear it until that day -- which may or may not come -- when you get married. It is a gift, a beautiful gift, and it even exists in marriage, although in a different form. But to violate it, to fritter it away, it leads to so much else that is just poisonous in your life and your soul.

Please, take it from someone who knows.